Friday, January 20, 2017

Assumptions: The Double-Edged Sword

Here is one topic I don't think I've really gone into on this blog. I most likely have discussed this in some form on The Autistic Help, but probably not as much as I should have. The topic is making assumptions. As autistic people we have to admit that we become prone to making assumptions where we feel okay with, but upon later examination we realize that sometimes we made the wrong assumptions. 

There are some things that we may have done where initially we believed that it was okay for us to do, but then after the dust clears we step back and think again. That's where we can get those gut-wrenching feelings of "Oh, what did I just do?" or "Why did I just do that?" These feelings occur often in us autistic people, and the challenge for us is how we deal with these feelings when we start experiencing them. Sometimes when we see the end result of an action we take, friends and family around us will remind us that we did nothing wrong and that everything will be okay. 

Making assumptions and how we deal with them is what I prefer to call a double-edged sword. Sometimes the sword swings in your favor, but other times it won't. Accidents happen and we need to learn how to sort out problems whenever they appear. 

For us autistic people it comes down to how we perceive an issue. How do we view a certain issue? Was it something that we felt we could fix? Would other people, who aren't autistic, view that issue the same way we viewed it, or at least view it in a similar light? It also comes down to the intent of a person, whether autistic or not. What did a person truly mean to do from the bottom of his or her heart? Were there good intentions? 

Mistakes are bound to happen in life. We all make mistakes. We are kidding ourselves if we believe that we'll never make any mistakes in our lives because mistakes are inevitable. We are only human. We can't really foresee how a certain issue is going to play out. We can process an issue in our minds (as in replay them) over and over again until the cows come home, but we'll never really know what effect an action will have until after everything settles.

I have been there, blog readers. I have made so many assumptions about actions I have took where I stepped back and went "Was that really the wise thing for me to do?", "Could I have done something better about that situation?" or "Did I do enough to fix that issue?" I won't lie. Some of the mistakes I've made in my life have truly bothered me, and to the point where I have felt regret and remorse. I'm just talking about accidentally breaking things or spilling a dinner meal, but I'm sure you get the point.

Be careful of this double-edged sword I'm talking about. Making assumptions can plant a seed of doubt, which leads to unnecessary stress and anxiety, and we don't need any of that in our lives.