Friday, September 25, 2015

Poem - As Time Has Gone By


As Time Has Gone By
Random Poem by Steven Vitte

 As time has gone by, I have noticed some changing.
I've watched people I know go by the wayside.
I've listened to the fading echoes of once relevant conversations.
I've seen the blind lead the blind, straight into the ditch.
Most of all, the changing of attitudes, which involves spiritual battles.

Change can be good and it can be bad.
Distancing myself from those I've been close to has made me sad.
I have my explanations for wanting to change for the better.
Some will understand me, and some won't.
As time has gone by, I've learned to move on.

As time has gone by, I've had to give up a lot.
I've had to decide for myself what is truly important.
If others don't have a slot left open for me, then I will move on.
Not because of envy nor jealousy have I decided. 
I just wanted to preserve my spiritual armor in my battles.

Some people are simply too afraid of change.
They will stick to what they know and not question anything.
I see it in them, their hesitation toward new developments.
If only they could see their underlying folly.
As time has gone by, I've realized that they will stay asleep.

As time has gone by, I've grown more jolly in knowing that I will be just fine.
As time has gone by, I've gotten closer to the truth in which I read.
As time has gone by, I've realized that soon I will rest in my final destination.
As time has gone by, I have seen just who will win and lose these battles.
When the time is at hand, my exit will be grand.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Learn How To Let It Go

Learning how to let go of certain things or certain people can be tough, but at the end of the day you will sometimes be better off in you life if you take away the things and the people that have been anchoring you down. You don't want to feel trapped in the confines of your own home and you don't want to feel like you're a slave in your own neighborhood. You don't want to feel burdened by the idea that you have meet the needs and demands of family members who just don't understand you.

It really is this simple
I have felt it for a long time as someone with Asperger's Syndrome, the need for me to just let go of things that have brought me down to spite me. I have stated this before and I will state this again. Being autistic is absolutely not the same thing as being stupid. If anything, being autistic means that you are highly intelligent and gifted in certain things, but you are just wired differently. That's it. No sugar coating around it. Unfortunately, other people still don't get this, and for some, they won't want to get it.

If you are autistic, be prepared to make sacrifices in your life that initially won't look pleasant in your sight. I have had to let go of some friends and family members who either were close to me but then forgot about me, stopped caring about me, or pretended to care about me but never did in the first place. Be prepared to dig out all the weeds in your cluttered garden, so to speak. If you see an unnecessary weed sprouting in your garden, you should promptly pluck it out and get rid of it.

The sad fact in this autistic life is that some people just won't want to deal with you, and it doesn't matter how much you try to befriend them or how hard you try to convince yourself that they are out there to help you. In this life as an autistic person, you are meant to find your own way. You are not meant to be micromanaged by anyone. Once you find your own way, you go down that path and you don't look back. You don't think back to the times when you had your troubles with other people. You just move forward.

Many people have their own unique ways of letting go and moving forward. Sometimes this event will occur out in the open, and yes, in public. Other times it will be a quiet and gradual transition period. You can handle letting go just by being sarcastic and humorous as long as you clearly make your point. You can also handle letting go by going straight to the point with a serious tone, and this especially works with someone in your life who you know hasn't been taking you seriously and makes light of everything that you do.



There's no way around this
When you know that you've reached a point where you have to let go of certain things and certain people, it becomes a matter of survival and self-preservation on your part. When you know you need to let it go but you still try so hard to hold on to that same thing or person that keeps you down in your life, you are ultimately cheating yourself out of future opportunities and experiences that will benefit you. Take it from me since I have had an abundance of experience doing this already. Learn how to let it go and move forward, and don't try to hold on to the negative things. Don't try to stay surrounded by people who don't have your best interests in mind. To quote Johnny Cash, just walk the line.



Thursday, September 17, 2015

Depression


Depression is common among autistic people. Sometimes the feeling of depression striking down an autistic person occurs too often. Depression is something that's incredibly hard to fake, and I know from my experiences that whenever I get depressed it's a legitimate feeling. There's no reason for me to fake my depression when I consider everything that I have seen and experienced in my life. I live an existence where I know I'm being protected, but it's an existence where no matter where I go or who I turn to, I am always the door slammed in my face. My depression is triggered by other people's inability to recognize my needs and what I am looking for.

Depression hits when nothing seems to go right in a single day. Depression hits when a person with autism gets that lonely feeling, and the kind of feeling where nobody truly understands what's effecting or bothering that autistic person. Depression hits when everything just seems to come at a stop, and not for the right reasons. Depression also hits when a person with autism tries as hard as he or she can to get something done, but because of outside factors, whether it be the environment, circumstances or other people, that autistic person can't get anything done.

It's hard for me to put into words what depression really means to me because most of the people I talk to will not really understand what I am trying to say. It's rooted in what I have been telling people for some time now. I ask for help but ultimately I don't get the help, and not the kind of help that I need considering my circumstances. I have dreams I want to realize, but other people are too busy doing a multitude of things to have any time for me. I have projects I want to finish, but instead of people sincerely wanting to dig into my projects and helping me, my projects gather dust in a corner of my room. Out of sight, out of mind...

Depression is real and the signs are more clear than you think. This will be a short post because I don't want to be dwelling on this topic too much, but I'm sure you get the gist of what I'm saying, right?

Friday, September 11, 2015

Being Organized






Being organized has been one of my biggest problems. I will sort out my stuff and think that I have everything in order, but then I realize I'm missing one part of my stuff and I will go looking for it. Too often I find myself participating in a scavenger hunt that is anything but fun, but rather irritating and stressful.

When I set aside certain objects, and mainly notebooks, that are filled with important stuff, I tend to forget the last place where I put these objects. It happens to me a lot. One reason why I become so disorganized within a short period of time is because of me being autistic. I tend to lose focus on the little details of stuff. I have a good grasp on the technical details of the content I make, but when it comes to trivial issues like where I put a notebook, my memory gets foggy. It's hard for me to explain.


I had my messy moments as a kid. My room would be filled with clutter and junk and I would just resort to moving my stuff from one part of my room to another. In essence I didn't really clean my room sometimes, but rather I just rearranged it to make it look less messy. I remember during my days as a kid living in an apartment when I had my toys and stuffed animals laid out on the floor in my room and I had many sheets of paper I was writing on just scattered about.

Organizing your stuff is a key thing. Don't take it for granted. You will have a harder time getting anything done if you aren't organized. Let your writing stuff be your writing stuff and don't let it blend in with your digital gadgets and collectibles. If you have perfume or cologne in your closet, let those things stay in your closet and don't mix those things with your video game console. Again, it's just the little things that you can't afford to overlook.

Being disorganized can sometimes be a sign of something going on in your life, something more than just being messy. Maybe it's a sign of depression, lack of motivation, heartbreak, etc. but whatever the case may be, you can't let any issues that are bothering you in your life to get in the way of something that you should control; your own space.

My advice to you is that if you ever find yourself having trouble staying organized in your workplace or even in your own home, take out some time to clean up your act. Don't put pressure on yourself, of course, but make that time available. Have that time to clean up the things you need to clean and find the things you need to find. Memorize the new places where you put your things and write them down on a sheet of paper if you need to. Knowing where your stuff is will give you the freedom to do things you would like to do.